Hammer Time: Fantastic Four #536

If I had a hammer...well, actually, I do have a few hammers. I don't do much of anything with them. They mostly just sit in the shed and rust. Every once in a while, I get one out, smash my thumb with it, and remind myself why I am not really much of a do-it-yourself kind of guy. But, if I had THOR'S hammer, the mighty Mjolnir, umm, I probably couldn't even pick it up. I guess I'm just not a hammer kind of guy. There are those, however; that enjoy a well-crafted tool...

I don't think it's much of a spoiler to say that Thor's hammer falls to earth in Fantastic Four #536. There's a really big picture of it on the cover afterall. In case you didn't know: Thor, Loki, and all the other Asgardians, vanished into the ether some time back. Ragnarok happened, the time of the Norse Gods was over, and that was all she wrote for Asgard. It makes sense that Mjolnir would be the one artifact of the Asgardian civilization to survive. That hammer has been through some tough situations, and always ended up in one piece.

Of course, those sneaky buggers in the government try to keep Mjolnir for themselves, but word gets out. That hammer is one hot addition for the toolbox that has everything, and a lot of people would like to get their hands on it. Including a certain Latverian dictator, with an army of robotic duplicates of his own noble self at his disposal. Is Doom back from the dead? And just what would Doom do if HE had a hammer? Don't you want to find out?

This issue, by the regular FF team of J. Michael Straczynski and Mike McKone, is a great comic on its own merits, but it also ties into some major Marvel Universe events. It's part of Marvel's "Road to Civil War" build-up, it gives Thor fans hope that the godly one could be up for some sort of return, and it has the Doom-tastic return of Doctor Doom! (Or at least a reasonable facsimile. Doom does copy himself quite a bit.)

Fantastic Four #536 has a great story, great art, and will clearly be a pivotal issue for some serious future events! Plus, Reed Richards eats a sandwich. This is definitely an issue to pick up while you can. Head over to Four Color Fantasies today, and try it out risk-free! Maybe it will inspire you to get out your own hammer and build a spice rack! Or smash a villainous troll in the face. Whatever works for you.

H.A.T.E. loves you! Try Nextwave #3.

H.A.T.E. loves you, so you should love H.A.T.E.! H.A.T.E. (Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort) loves you so much that they spend fortunes pumping General Dirk Anger full of special H.A.T.E. life-extending drugs, just so he can be out there saving your sorry rear-end day after endless day! Why does Anger do it? He does it for H.A.T.E., of course! What kind of stupid question is that? It sounds to me like you don't love H.A.T.E. nearly enough!

Nextwave, the Agents of H.A.T.E, don't actually love H.A.T.E anymore, either. The Nextwave team, a group of B-grade heroes put together by General Anger, found out that the Beyond Corp. (the parent company of H.A.T.E.) was actually a terrorist organization. You can probably see where they might feel a little conflicted about this. So the team absconded from the H.A.T.E. Aeromarine with the super-cool Shockwave Rider, and decided to take the fight to the terrorists in their own way: Healing America by beating people up!

Who are the H.A.T.E. haters who make up the Nextwave Squad? Great question! They are: Monica Rambeau (formerly Photon) who used to lead the Avengers, Aaron Stack (AKA Machine Man) who really hates most fleshy ones, Elsa Bloodstone who is a bigshot English monster-hunter, Tabitha Smith (AKA Boom Boom and Meltdown) who blows things up, and the Captain who, ummm, is really kind of a sucky hero. This unlikely band has taken it upon themselves to hunt down all of the Beyond Corporation's Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction, such as the underpants wearing monster Fin Fang Foom, and destroy them before Beyond can make any nefarious use of them.

Personally, I love comics that aren't afraid to be a little different, and you can't get much more unique than Nextwave. This crazy, over-the-top series is the twisted brainchild of Warren Ellis and Stuart Immonen. Mr. Ellis is already well-known for some brilliant and subversive writing, so it is great that Marvel has been brave enough to let him really run wild with some of their toys. As I'm writing this review, I can't stop rereading the issue and chuckling. Nextwave has witty dialogue, tons of explosions, heaps of satire, more explosions, and quite a bit of punching and kicking. Immonen's unique and stylish art perfectly complements the out-there tone of this book. This series has quickly made it to the top of my favorites list, and it could soon be topping yours too!

If you hate terrorism, and you love H.A.T.E., you must read Nextwave! Try out issue #3 ASAP, while it is Four Color Fantasies' guaranteed Book of the Week! You really don't want to upset General Anger, he'll take a bite right outta ya!

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #201

In most situations, Bruce Wayne is a pretty reasonable guy. Sure, he may be a little on the hard-headed side. If you give him a real reason to, he may even have his Batty alter-ego kick your butt and leave you on the curb for police pick-up. But the one thing you really shouldn't do is mess with his parents. Bruce may just take that personally.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #201 is the beginning of a new three-part story, "True Crime." Decades ago, when Bruce Wayne was just a little Bat-Toddler, Gotham was terrorised by a notorious serial-killer: The Robinson Park Ripper. The Ripper, much like the more infamous Jack, had a relatively small number of victims. His crimes attracted attention because of the sheer brutality exhibited by the killer. The victims, all women, had organs gruesomely extracted while they were still alive.

Public interest in such horrific crimes never really goes away. Despite the passage of so many years, true-crime writer Mark Prather takes on the Ripper case. He finds some interesting evidence. The only thing the victims had in common was a tie to the University Medical Center where Bruce's father, Dr. Thomas Wayne, sometimes saw patients. The organs were removed with surgical precision only a Doctor could manage. A Doctor such as, ohhh, Thomas Wayne? When Prather announces the impending publication of his findings, Bruce finds himself thrown into a case that he THOUGHT was long cold.

This story, by Christos N. Gage, is my favorite kind of Batman story. It is a realistic story, that could easily have been pulled from today's news. Batman's detective skills are at the forefront, rather than his Bat-buttkicking. (For fans of the fisticuffs, he does take time out to thrash Clayface and rough up some of the Penguin's hired goons.) Ron Wagner's pencils are perfect for this kind of gritty, down-to-earth storytelling. The cast of characters seems very real, which emphasizes Batman's dark, intimidating stature.

This is a great, self-contained, story, perfect for readers who don't want to be dragged kicking and screaming into any of the massive crossover stories currently coming out from both Marvel and DC. If you prefer to watch the World's Greatest Detective at work, rather than watching Bats hang out with his super-buddies, there is no mystery here: You should be reading "True Crime."

Pick it up this week at Four Color Fantasies, it's guaranteed! Just don't say anything nasty about Bruce's momma, that's when he gets really unpleasant!

A Stryk-ing Predicament: New X-men #24

When things go wrong for Marvel's mutants, they go REALLY wrong. In case you haven't been paying attention, the events of "House of M" did some serious damage to the mutant population of the Marvel Universe. Where there used to be millions of mutants, there are now only hundreds. This has put the remaining mutants, and many former mutants, in some pretty tough spots. And spots don't come much tougher than the one the New X-Men end up in.

Tragedy befalls the team of young X-Men in training in New X-Men #24, by Craig Kyle, Chris Yost, and Paco Medina. There have always been those who view mutants as a feared and hated minority. When there were millions of powerful mutants to look out for one another, there was safety in those numbers. Now that the mutant population has been drastically reduced, there are plenty of people who see this vulnerability as a prime opportunity to strike. The Reverend William Stryker, for example. (And really, anybody with the name "Stryker" just has to be up to no good.)

Stryker predicted the events of M-Day, and he's been preparing for quite some time. He has built up a virtual army of anti-mutant fanatics to join him in his second crusade to wipe out his hated enemies. As Emma Frost and the X-Men try to sneak a bus full of non-powered students away from the Xavier Institute, Stryker's forces attack. The bus is destroyed, and a whole bunch of dead students are left in the aftermath of the attack.

This emotional issue focusses on how the remaining New X-Men deal with their grief and loss. These are young people who have been through some incredibly tough times, and coping isn't going to be easy. Of course, as Emma Frost makes clear, Stryker is not going to wait around for the New X-men to feel better before he decides to attack again. This is just the beginning of a story that will clearly be pivotal in how the mutant community survives in the post-M world.

So strap on your black armband and stroll somberly over to Four Color Fantasies to pick up New X-Men #24. It's guaranteed, so you have nothing to lose, unlike the New X-Men.

A Lady to Admire: Ms. Marvel #1

Name a female super-hero. Sure, it's easy for you and me, we're comic book nerds! But ask any member of the general public that question, and their answers will be pretty limited. They'll know Wonder Woman, because she had a TV show. They may know Batgirl, also because of her TV appearances. Maybe a few people could name Sue Storm, since Jessica Alba played her. Unfortunately, I'm willing to bet that is about all most people could come up with. For some reason, it isn't easy for the ladies to earn the respect and notoriety of their male counterparts in the hero biz.

Well, Carol Danvers is out to change all that in Ms. Marvel #1. In her new ongoing series, Carol has decided that it is time to take control of her heroic career. She wants to be the best there is at what she does, and what she does IS actually pretty nice. Ms. Danvers is dead-set on living up to her potential, so losers like Stilt-Man know exactly who she is while getting their villainous butts kicked. In short, Carol wants to be the kind of hero that kids will imitate on the playground.

Of course, just like in real life, it isn't easy to stay in the public eye. To help out with her public image, Carol goes to one of the biggest names in the Public Relations biz. (Didn't know that Captain America, the Fantastic Four and the X-Men all have a publicist? You HAVE heard of them, haven't you? See how PR works?) Lucky for us, the first PR move for Carol is to forget about the unfortunate code-names Binary and Warbird, and get back to her original Ms. Marvel. Who wants to be saved by somebody named Warbird? Ick.

This new series is written by Brian Reed with pencils by Roberto De La Torre. Reed's writing makes this first issue really shine. His style combines the fun of a Dan Slott comic with the witty dialogue of a Brian Bendis book. What more could anybody ask for in one book? How about great art? Ms. Marvel has that too! De La Torre's pencils perfectly convey action, humor, the joy of flight, and Ms. Marvel's pulchritudinous sexiness. (And, if you're into that sort of thing, check out Frank Cho's sweet cover art!) Plus, the surprise villains at the end of the issue are as terrifying as Carol is sexy.

So c'mon people, let's work together to promote equality of the sexes in comics! Help Ms. Marvel become the big name hero that she deserves to be! Fly down to Four Color Fantasies today and try out the guaranteed Book of the Week: Ms. Marvel #1.