Saturday, October 25, 2008

Puny humans buy Monster-Size Hulk #1


Raaaarrrgh! Hulk smash stupid monsters!! Monsters think it is scary season, so monsters can hurt Hulk. Stupid monsters learn no one can hurt Hulk, not even monsters. You don't believe Hulk? Read Monster-Size Hulk #1 comic and see for yourself, puny reader! Hulk tell you how great comic is!

Many stories in this book! In first story, stupid Banner meets pretty Frankenstein lady. Pretty lady tricks stupid Banner, so Banner meets angry monster! Frankenstein monster is even uglier than Hulk. Lady tries to hurt Hulk, so Hulk and monster smash each other. Then Hulk and monster smash puny army guys. Then some other stuff gets smashed. Lots of smashing, but Hulk is never scared! Puny comic writer Jeff Parker can't scare Hulk, and neither can Frankenstein Monster.

Puny Banner is stupid. Banner always tries to help bad people, and they hurt Banner. Hulk would laugh at Banner, but when bad people hurt Banner, they hurt Hulk too! In next story, Banner helps dogman Jack Russell. (Ha ha! Funny name for stupid dogman!) Puny writer Steve Niles tells how Hulk smashes smelly dogman. Story has pretty pictures, but still makes Hulk angry.

In Hulk's favorite story, funny-name monster Goom tells scary bedtime story to little monster about Hulk. In bedtime story, Hulk is scariest monster there is! Smart monsters don't want to bother Hulk, because they know Hulk will smash! Smart puny humans must read story so they don't try to hurt Hulk. Hulk makes scary monsters cry! Take that monsters!

Last story in Hulk's Monster-Size Hulk book has many words, not many pictures. Words make Hulk's head hurt, but story is still good. Puny human Peter David tells story about how Hulk meets stupid Count with pointy teeth and cape. Stupid pointy-teeth Count wants to keep Hulk in his smelly old castle, but Hulk not want to stay. Hulk smashes lots of things and Count learns pointy teeth are no match for Hulk.

Puny humans call Hulk monster, but Hulk is no monster. Hulk smashes monsters! Smashes them all! Hulk not tell you again, read Hulk's Monster-Size Hulk comic, and see smashing for yourself. Puny reader will see monsters are not scary, only angry Hulk is scary. Don't make Hulk angry! Read Hulk's comic, or Hulk smash you too!!! If you don't like Hulk's comic, Hulk give money back. And then smash you.

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